For women and people with vulvas, the potential for experiencing different types of orgasm is quite extraordinary, with upwards of ten different types being available to us - not to mention the endless possibilities of sensations, lengths, depths, strengths and feelings that each individual orgasm may come with.
Some types of orgasms are more widely known, such as clitoral orgasms or G-spot orgasms, however, not many people have heard of cervical orgasms, let alone know what or where the cervix is, or furthermore, how to pleasure it.
In case you were wondering, the cervix is the opening to the uterus and is located at the end of the vaginal canal. The cervix position changes throughout a person’s menstrual cycle, sitting higher during ovulation and lower throughout menstruation.
Packed with thousands of delicious nerve endings, when our cervix is given the tender love and care that it needs, it has the potential to be the epicenter of deep, radiating, full body pleasure and orgasms.
There is a huge amount of misinformation out there surrounding internal orgasm for female bodied people, in particular, the misunderstanding that only a small percentage of vulva owners can have internal orgasms, including cervical orgasms. The important distinction to make here is that while the majority of women and female bodied people don’t report experiencing this type of orgasm, it doesn't mean that they can’t. In fact, as long as you are someone with a cervix, this type of orgasm is totally available to you, it may just take a little bit of exploration, patience and practice.
Unlike other erogenous zones, for many people, initially their cervix can actually be a point of pain in their vagina, rather than a point of pleasure. Maybe you have experienced this yourself when you have had penetrative sex of some kind and a thrust has gone too deep, too fast or hit your cervix with too much force.
This is often because, for many people, their cervix can hold a huge amount of tension which can stem from microtraumas (such as the aforementioned “too much force when thrusting” situation), larger traumatic events, stress or even simply experiencing heavy, heartfelt emotions such as grief, or sadness. It’s no wonder that our emotions may play a role in the tension held in our cervix, with our heart and cervix being intimately linked in numerous ways.
For example, in Eastern Medicine the cervix is the reflexology point connected to the heart and if we are being more scientific about it, the heart and the cervix are also connected by the Vagus nerve which plays a huge part in the functioning of our body and nervous system.
With this in mind, in both my professional opinion and from my own experiences, the key to cervical pleasure and orgasm, is taking your time to soften and dearmour the mind, heart, body and pussy, allowing any tension to melt away.
While keeping in mind that everyone’s body and experience of pleasure is different, here are some suggestions and a step by step guide to softening into cervical pleasure and orgasm.
I cannot reiterate enough the importance of the role that our nervous system plays in our sexual experiences. A tightly wound nervous system equals tightly wound sex. Before exploring cervical pleasure (either solo or partnered), take some time to clear your head. You may like to do this by taking a long bath or shower, meditating or doing some gentle breathwork. Ensure that your space feels good and that you don’t have any pressing things that need to be done. Turn off your phone and cultivate as much presence as possible.
Once you’re feeling mentally relaxed, open and receptive, either you or your lover can begin to slowly open your heart space by massaging your breasts with some yummy smelling oil (I suggest the No. 1 Sensual Body Oil by Elsker Elsker). Allow this to be an intuitive process, with particular focus on softening your chest and heart space area. Notice if there are any points that are holding tension or if you are holding your breath and allow yourself to soften these places with some big exhales.
Once your heart space and breasts feel as though they have softened, move onto massaging the rest of the body, very slowly working your way towards the vulva. Make sure that either you or your partner use lots of oil here so the experience is as seamless as possible (I suggest the No. 1 Sensual Body Oil by Elsker Elsker).
When the rest of the body feels relaxed and you have eventually reached the vulva, take your time to gently massage the vulva too using an oil based lubricant such as Organic Coconut Oil or Organic Sweet Almond Oil. You may like to experiment with different external strokes here. Keep in mind that for most women and people with vulvas, our bodies take approximately 20-40 minutes to become fully aroused, for all of the erectile tissue (yes people with vulvas have erectile tissue too!) both internally and externally to become engorged and for our pussy to begin to soften and open. Take your time to focus on all of the external pleasure available and see this as a timeframe that guides “outerplay” as you move towards internal cervical pleasure.
Once you feel that your mind, heart and body are open, relaxed and receptive, begin to bring your attention to connecting more deeply with your pussy. I suggest checking in with yourself before any kind of penetration and asking yourself, “Am I ready?”, “Is there anything else I need more of first?”, “Do I feel open?”. If the answer is yes, using lots of oil based lubricant and a Pleasure Wand (I suggest the Curved Pleasure Wands by Elsker Elsker as the curve is designed perfectly for cervical pleasure), slowly begin to penetrate your vagina, imagining that you are almost breathing in your Pleasure Wand until you can feel it connecting with your cervix.
As previously mentioned, everyone has a different body and a different experience of pleasure, so experiment with different pressure and techniques. You may like to try pressing the wand in a massaging motion on your cervix, particularly if there is residual tension, or if your cervix is feeling soft you may like to explore slightly more vigorous thrusting. Get curious and explore here, remember this is supposed to be pleasurable so focus on cultivating pleasure over chasing an orgasm! In my experience, when we do this, orgasms quite naturally follow.
Cervical pleasure can take time, practice and patience and you may not experience an orgasm from cervical pleasure alone! Don’t be afraid to bring in sound, breath, movement and touch throughout the rest of your body while you familiarize yourself with the pleasure potential of your cervix.
Written by Ruby Josif
Image via Pintrest
